TK and I are getting married in 26 days (whoa!) and with our upcoming marriage I’ve been thinking a lot about the way I hear people talk about men and women personally and in the media. I’ve been trying to observe the language people use to talk about the opposite gender (or even in some cases people of their own gender) and how people/media promote stereotypes.
Now, this isn’t any kind of authoritative study. This is just a little of what I’ve observed and have been thinking about lately.
If someone who didn’t know anything about families or relationships gained all their knowledge from television this is what I think they would learn: men are often stupid and don’t help around the house and women are snarky and spend most of their time complaining. I love shows like “Modern Family” and “Raising Hope” for their comedy and story lines, but isn’t that how they portray men and women?
Unfortunately I think this also seeps into our everyday lives. Whether it’s a self-fulfilling stereotype or just the way we see others, I hear a lot of “Well, he’s a man so what does he know,” or “You know how women can be” when I’m out and about.
Maybe I’m too idealistic, but I think it’s very sad this is the way we see each other, especially those who are married. Recently I have made an effort to watch the way I talk about TK. I try not to say stuff insinuating TK can’t or won’t do something because he’s a man. Yes, I do most of the cooking but it’s because I enjoy it. And he does help out a lot when he can.
I think there’s a lot of mutual respect that makes a marriage not only healthy but happy. We just need to be careful about how to talk to each other and how to talk about each other when we’re with other people.